My relationship with my generalized anxiety has been, perhaps, the greatest factor in shaping my life.

I can divide this relationship into three distinct stages that mirror the three distinct stages of my "adult" life.

Stage One – Ignorance and Submission

Unaware of my anxiety just as we are usually unaware of the air we breath. The anxiety controlled my every decision (and, perhaps more often, my failure to make decisions). It determined my relationships with family, friends, enemies and lovers.

Stage Two – Awareness and Hatred

Begrudgingly admitting to my condition, I desperately searched for a path to be free of it. I hated it. I was ashamed of it. I believed it was the result of inner weakness.

Stage Three – Relationship

I am now in relationship with my anxiety. I no longer see it as a disease or character flaw. Rather, I see it as important information and, even, a healthy response to living in an sick world.

My anxiety helps keep me upright as I do my tightrope act. What is my tightrope act? It is living in this society that routinely dehumanizes us, while maintaining my humanity. The first allows me to provide for the material needs of my wife and children, and the second, their emotional needs.